A Letter to a New Mom
Dear Kerry,
Pretty soon you will be meeting someone who is going to change your world. He is going to come with a few extra surprises, but I promise, they are good ones. At first, you might wonder if you even have the strength or that "extra something" that it takes to be the mom that he needs. You might be disappointed that you won't be getting the "normal" parenting experience that you were so looking forward to. You might even fear that he will not lead a normal life, and might miss out on things like playdates, birthday parties, and extracurricular activities. It's okay...feel scared, wonder about the future, be upset if you need to.
But, I am promising you now, that you can do it. You are exactly the person that this boy needs to raise him, because you are his mom! He is going to stare at you with such love, that you're going to wonder how you ever lived without him. You are going to toughen up a bit, and are going to find a little fight in you that you never knew existed. You are finally the mom that you had always dreamed of being.
And for that "normal" parenting experience? Get ready for poop explosions, 12:00am, 3:00am, and 6:00am feedings, and days on end without showers. Everything that you have prepared for, everything that you pictured yourself doing as a new parent, everything you were looking forward to doing for the first time...you will do them. You will learn through trial and error, and you will find "tricks" that work for you. Hours will be spent on the phone with your friends who are also new moms, trying to figure out how to get your babies to sleep just a little bit longer. You might even start to wish that it wasn't such a "normal" parenting experience, because it sure is tiring!
Please, please, don't be afraid of your son not living a normal life, either. The direction his life takes is in your hands. When you are ready, join some playgroups, host some playdates. You will meet some amazing mothers, and your son will meet some of his very best friends. They will play trucks together on the floor, they will babble in their strange "baby talk", and they will hug, hit, and pull each other's hair. Your boy is going to get invited to birthday parties, and will have friends at his. And believe it or not, he is going to inherit his Daddy's athletic ability. Hockey will be his sport of choice, so make sure to clear away any breakables that are at stick level...he is going to have quite a swing.
I know, it might not always be easy for you raising a child who has some extra challenges. You are going to have to navigate the world of medical insurance, and balance doctor's and therapy appointments with your already busy schedule. At some points, you are going to need to advocate for your son, and will come face to face with some ignorant people. Some days will just be exhausting, and you will be desperate for some weeks where you don't do anything. So you know what? Don't! Cancel appointments, take time off from work, let the house get messy, and get take-out for dinner...once in a while of course! These mini-breaks will be well worth it in the end.
So, Momma, congratulations. You are about to start a wonderfully exciting, challenging, rewarding life, and you are not going to have one single regret about it. That son of yours is going to teach you more than you ever thought possible, and you are going to wonder how in the world you ever got so lucky to have him in your life. Enjoy the ride!
Love,
An older, happier, more experienced, enlightened, and better looking :-) version of yourself
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