Ty's Journey
Throughout my pregnancy, I took weekly pictures of my growing belly. When Ty was born, my mom put together a video montage of my journey to becoming Ty's mom, set to the song "Just Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble. It's perfect, and I have yet to hear that song without remembering those long weeks leading up to Ty's arrival. Most of you have not heard the story of Ty's venture into this world, so here's the song and the road we took to get where we are today.
I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I've stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down
Just 20 weeks pregnant, we walked into the doctor's office excited to find out if we would be having a boy or a girl. Not once did it cross our minds that something might be "wrong" with our baby. After celebrating the news that we would be having a boy, we were thrown our first curve ball - our son had a heart defect. 8 weeks later, we found out that he was only measuring in the 3rd percentile, and I was put on bedrest. Weekly ultrasounds and non-stress tests followed, where we discovered that Ty had chylothorax (fluid in his chest), dilated ventricles in his brain, a moderate-sized VSD (hole) in his heart, and possibly fused brain sutures (plates, meaning his brain couldn't grow properly). During those long 6 days between ultrasounds, we convinced each other that Ty would be fine. We would hold on to the slightest ray of hope, only to have it stolen away at the next ultrasound. It was hands-down, the most trying, devastating four months of our lives.
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| My favorite picture of the two of us before I met him! |
I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility
The term "chromosomal abnormality" was thrown around week after week, but we refused the invasive amniocentesis due to the risk of premature birth. I remember the first time the term was mentioned to me, I immediately spat out, "You mean like Down Syndrome?!?!" The doctor, who in retrospect was so calm and reassuring despite my uncontrollable anger toward him that day, explained that while Down Syndrome was a chromosomal abnormality, the markers didn't quite match up with those typically associated with the syndrome. He listed some other more realistic possibilities, which I researched and studied obsessively every day while I served my bedrest "sentence". I just couldn't picture it though. None of those syndromes described the boy who I watched on the monitor every week. It didn't make sense, but as the doctor told me, "someone always has to be the 1 in ____ to make the statistic true".
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| I should have known from his "thumbs up" in our first ultrasound that he was telling us that he'd be okay! |
And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I'll get
I just haven't met you yet
I'll never forget the day I saw my baby's face for the first time. I was 35 weeks pregnant, and was laying on the table for my 10th...at least...ultrasound. I had pretty much given up hope at this point that everything would work out, and just had this defeated attitude toward the doctors and technicians. And then the ultrasound technician flipped a switch...literally and figuratively. A 3-dimensional image of my precious boy's face filled the screen as I watched him suck his thumb, stick out his tongue, and smile. I remember the tech saying, "You mean they've never shown you a 3-d image of your son before???" It was all I needed to recharge the fight in me and get ready to take on any challenge that was about to come my way. The baby looking back at me was beyond perfect, and I was finally ready to become his Mommy.
I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life
Just three weeks and five days later, Ty made his appearance. After 18 hours in labor at home (not by choice...the doctors at the hospital that morning assured me that I was not in labor when I arrived with bags packed ready to have my baby!), we were finally ready to rock and roll at the hospital. Apparently, Ty wanted out, and quickly, because things moved so fast it was a danger to Ty and me. I was given a shot to slow down my labor, among other drugs to raise my blood pressure, and monitors on Ty to ensure he was safe. At 11:42pm, after what I remember as being the easiest delivery ever, Ty arrived at 6 pounds, 9 ounces, 19 inches long, kicking and screaming, like we were assured he would not be. He was immediately brought to the warmer, and I will never forget watching his scrawny little leg repeatedly kicking the end of the table at full force. I was elated. All of the stress, worry, and devastation of the past 18 weeks disappeared, because I just knew Ty was going to be okay.
And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility
Shortly after Ty was born, a neonatologist arrived at my bedside. He was a truly nice man, with genuine concern in his eyes. Gently, he explained that Ty was being tested for Down Syndrome, as he was born with a few markers that led them to believe he was rocking an extra chromosome. After absorbing the information for a moment, I began to grill the doctor about Ty's health...his heart, his breathing, his brain...everything that had caused me heartache over the past few months. To my utter shock, he assured me that Ty was healthy...he was breathing room air, had taken an ounce of formula, and his initial examinations had come back clear. In fact, they were not doing anything medically for him at all. At that realization, I honestly did not care about the Down Syndrome. I could spell it, I could pronounce it, and I knew enough about it that it was not foreign. From then on, I knew that we would all be just fine.
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| Our first family picture...still my favorite, despite the swollen, tired Momma! |
And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I'll give so much more than I'll get
I just haven't met you yet
From the blog posts this month, you know the impact that Ty has had on our lives in more ways than one. He had one hell of a journey getting here, and continues to make one hell of an impression on everyone that he meets. Ty forces all of us to think differently, live differently, and be better people. Our world just wouldn't be the same without him.
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