What I Love About Being a DS Mom #23

Attitude

One of the largest misconceptions about people with Down Syndrome is that they are "happy all the time".  I have yet to meet a child with DS who hasn't had a tantrum, refused to do something, or waved his/her stubborn flag.  Ty...my ever so sweet Ty...has done all of the above, and then some.  He is a far cry from the stereotype of the boy with Down Syndrome who is content with everything, smiles all the time, and is friendly toward everyone he meets.  Ty has attitude.  

I guess it all started when he was just three days old, and was being force-fed formula in the Special Care Nursery.   He was being held for "monitoring" due to the suspicion of Down Syndrome, while they ran various tests and scanned every inch of his body.  He looked like a linebacker next to the 2 pound preemies who surrounded him, yet his fluid intake was documented carefully for 30 minutes every 3 hours.  I remember sitting there listening to a doctor, nurse, and OT discuss why they were even doing this for him, since it was not the standard protocol for typical babies who were born at the hospital (which at this point, they had determined Ty was).  After one particularly frustrating feeding when Ty just wasn't hungry enough for the amount they wanted him to take, the nurse inserted a NG tube to finish his feeding.  The morning shift nurse the next day was livid and assured me that Ty did not need it.  All the while, Ty yanked, pulled, and successfully removed the tube more than once.  He was less than 72 hours old, and was already letting the world know what he wanted...and didn't want.  (It was permanently removed that evening by that same sympathetic nurse). 

And Ty hasn't looked back since.  He stands firm in his likes and dislikes, and will not give in when he does not want something.  Ty is not one to watch the world go by...he wants to control it.  That's just who he is, and it certainly does not satisfy the expectation that the world places on him as a boy with Down Syndrome.

These attitudes are worn proudly on Ty's face, and are apparent all day, every day.  I don't know where he has learned his ways (surely I can't be to blame?!?), but he is a master.  

His "don't you even think about it" face.  If Ty sees me coming with medicine, or I try to sneak a vegetable in his mouth with his meal, I get "the look".  He turns his head downward real slowly, looks up at me with his disappointed eyes, and all but says, "you better think twice before you do that."  Strangely, I used that same look often as a teacher...and it worked.  It's no wonder he's so good!



"What are you gonna do about it, Mom???"



His "I'm doing this for you, Mom" face.  This boy has become so accustomed to having a camera in his face, he automatically slaps on this smile as soon as he sees it.  He knows exactly what I'm trying to do, and exactly what he's supposed to do.  It's his way of saying, "This is so lame."  I expect many more faces like this, especially as adolescence approaches.

"Can't you see I'm trying to stand here???"

His "I am so darn cute, and I know it" face.  Whoever put it in his head that he is incredibly cute, clearly didn't anticipate the effect it would have on my son's ego.  He knows exactly how to smile, bat his eyes (yes, he bats his eyes), and snuggle in closely just the right way, so you have no choice but to give him anything and everything he wants.  It's a little manipulative, but hey, it works!

"You want to pinch my cheeks, don't you?"

And my favorite, his "I seriously just love you so much" face.  Nothing is better than having your son stare up at you with total and complete adoration.  It's not an intentional face, but it's one that I catch once in a while, and it just melts my heart every time.  Little boys really do love their Mommas!          

Photo by Courtney MacLaren Photography

Attitude is what gives Ty a little spark. It's what helps define his personality, and what distinguishes him from the stereotype that society has created. Ty is as much an individual as you and I. He is Ty Eric Momnie, a little boy with a lot to offer. Watch out, world!